A lady may cross her ankles,
but I'd rather just hit you.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Igor Panarin: U.S. Will Collapse By Next Year
Sarah Palin must be laying low with her secessionist-helpmeet Todd teh First Dud, since this is the zaniness catching my eye today.
"Panarin argued that Americans are in moral decline, saying their great psychological stress is evident from school shootings, the size of the prison population and the number of gay men."
I kinda snarfed the coffee on that one, no lie. These things are all controversial, and it's a good list, till ... gay men??
There are several reasons why gay men are a boon to American society, and I shall lay out some reasons that the male gay population may be the salvation of the American Dream, and should be thus revered:
1) The gay man always seems to have a female friend during high school (whether either of them know he's gay, or closeted, or whatevs) which leads to sincere, emo-laden conversations when they should be doing their trig homework. This increases the emotional quotient of both, and trig causes a rash anyway.
2) Without the gay man, Broadway's lights would have dimmed years ago, and then what would housewives from Iowa do in New York, go to the Warsaw and rock? psh.
3) And let's not forget that every gay couple doesn't produce another human, thus working in their own buttsecksy way to trim the population before we hit 11 billion by the year 2100
So, just based on this alone, it's obvious someone's been spiking the Russky prof's vodka with Rush Limbaugh's Oxycodone.